I can not control my feelings like driving them around like so many little cars with tiny steering wheels.
But... I can change my self-care in this moment and feel different in the next moment.
When I call myself names to push myself around, I feel increasing self doubt, frustration, and bitterness. The people around me feel an increasing need to defend themselves and keep their distance as I continue treating myself that way. Few of my plans seem to work out.
But then, when I notice I am calling myself names and interrupt myself... and then replace the self abuse with simple true statements like: ("I can choose to keep trying to be less impulsive. " Or, "I can choose to treat myself with self respect." Or, "I can choose to notice, interrupt and replace my self abuse.") I will feel increasingly calm, better about myself, and less impulsive. As I continue remembering to notice self abuse, interrupt self abuse and then replace it with affirmation over months and years, my self image will be stronger, my plans will begin to work better and people will feel safer around me.